Monday, March 2, 2009

The Gulch and why it sucks.

I’m going to take this opportunity to vent a little about the Gulch. I’ve been spending more time than I like there lately and think it by far the most overrated area of Nashville. My reasons:
  • It’s way overpriced. A 600 sq ft condo with a poor view will run you $200K. Your association fee will run you another $200-$300 a month on top of your mortgage. You want assigned parking, get the checkbook out because it’s going to cost you as well.
  • It’s like living in a giant hotel. I’ve only been to a few units but my impression of the residential area is I feel like I’m in a giant Marriott hotel.
  • It’s basically the suburbs in the city. Why do people move to the suburbs? The most common reason is to raise children, which I can understand to an extent. In my mind it’s because they are scared of the city. They are scared of the possibility of crime and run-ins with people who are not like them. They want to be adventurous, but are scared to be. They are image conscious and have a manufactured sense of self importance. They want cool but it’s got to be new construction.

To me this embodies the mindset of those in the Gulch. It’s where suburbanites can live before they get pregnant and have to move to Brentwood. Let’s look at the similarities.

  • Image consciousness: In Brentwood you drop half a mill on a 4K sq ft home. In the Gulch you drop 200K on a 600 square foot condo. In Brentwood you park your car in your three car garage. In the Gulch you put in the private parking spot you dish out $100 a month for. The same Gulch-liver who brags about living in the ICON will eventually go on to brag about living in the Governors Club.
  • Chain Restaurants: Gulch-dwellers love to tell you about their restaurants. If you assess the situation you will see there is an abundance of national chains like Cantina Laredo, Sambuca and Urban Flat Breads. There are also a handful of regional chains Ru San’s and the yet-to-be-opened Casablanca Coffee.
  • Crappy nightlife: The best bar in the Gulch is the Bluegrass Inn, which is not frequented by most that live in the area. Outside of that they have Mai, a terrible ultra-lounge, and Sambuca, which is more restaurant than bar.

To me the Gulch is a soulless area for people who want the suburbs in the city. I’m glad we have it though because it keeps those shitty people out of my areas of the city.

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